My (fictitious) e-mail to them:
Hey Friend, A few months ago I noticed that you were attempting to gain access to my device. I wondered what you were after so I browsed some porn for you. It became obvious you found this interesting as you stuck around for hours on end, watching those dirty-ass videos, while I got on with some work on another system - you were clearly enduring an enormous amount of pleasure from this. This amused me and, being the friend that I am, I couldn't help but record the scenes from your webcam. I took a quick look; they're quite horrific mate! I'm tempted to pass these recordings on to your (other) friends, colleagues, relatives, and even your wife if she's still around, or just share them online to amuse myself further - perhaps you might persuade me otherwise? So much for changing your passwords - I saw you do that! Regards, Your Friend.
Brian's Blog 
Hilarious.
The sad thing is – I might just know “this” helpdesk…
I deal with them quite often while I’m at work. 😉
Is humanity better with the net? I think not.
If I’m lucky I’ll get to witness the end of it all here when the CME of a century comes crashing down.
Here’s a recent article regarding just how dangerous the Sun can be with regards to our technological addiction:
View at Medium.com